It’s just not the same
Watching dog fights online all on your own of a Sunday
No it’s not the same
Being too competitive when playing table tennis
Watching Jason Statham
Movies on your own is not quite as ironic
As when we watched them
Laughing outloud together eating a Vienetta

Even if when I
Met Sophie in our local for the first time I knew that
It was quite clear
She was undeniably lovely and very homely
I still miss the way
We would watch Master and Commander and roar a lot
Just promise you’ll always
Watch your Hornblower DVD once a year and think of me

At a loss without my friend Dennis I spiralled into a minor depression which I attempted to self-medicate by eating a chorizo and goats cheese omelette every morning. Periodically I would borrow my father’s Toyota Avensis and drive to a National Trust property whereupon I would find myself surrounded by even more young couples. The smell of pregnancy was genuinely over-powering.

But I met a man
Who can only be described as an alcohol-fuelled
Peter Pan. We filled a van with guitars and percussion and headed to obscure
German cities to perform. The trip reminded him of his friend’s mother who he
Described as looking like an angry German school boy who has been left out in the cold.